Wednesday, 5 June 2013

5 June 2013 Updates

It's now 5 June, and half of 2013 is already gone. I hadn't set out any new year resolution, so I can't comment on whether I kept to them or not.

I'm into the second month of holidays (kinda) but it doesn't feel that long. I kind of feel like exams just ended. This semester has been a really long and tiring one. After three sems of loving the modules that I took, this sem's modules were a killer not because they were exceptionally hard, but because they were about stuff that I wasn't particularly interested in. And I was so caught up with camps and overseas trips right after exams it feels as though I haven't had time for a breather.

I can't say that I'm taking a break now because now I'm rushing things out for my honours year thesis. It was supposed to be due today but I shamelessly asked for a one-week extension. So now basically I'm just wasting that extension as well and hasn't really done anything concrete.

I just feel so drained academically. A few sems ago I was really excited about managing to pull up my cap, but this sem it's like I just don't care anymore, and my cap dropped, but I don't feel too badly about that either, after all, you reap what you sow right? I just feel so mentally exhausted and I really need a break. I foresee this three months (or rather, two months of what is left) will just fly by. This is the first time I'm actually not bored by the holidays, I don't even wanna get a holiday job or anything, I just want to snuggle up in my bed with book, or go watch a good movie. I can't wait to hand in the necessary parts for the thesis for now and just get that much-needed break.

K recently moved out from Pine Grove into his new place in Serangoon. It's a really cosy and spacious room, and I really like it. It's much closer to my weekend home but sadly, most of the time I'm in the West. The packing was hell, I really really hate packing. So in lieu of my move next year, I've decided to control my shopping, spend less and save more, so that I won't have so much things to pack this time next year. 

My mom recently commented on my front tooth, which is not aligned with the rest and jutting out a bit. It's something that I have been very self-conscious about since I was younger. She half-joked and asked if I wanted to get braces and I seriously contemplated about it for a while. But like, who gets braces at this age right, so ugly, plus I don't think I can stand the pain of pulling my teeth out. I thought about getting invisilign but they are crazy ex. I'm not about to clear out my entire life's savings to correct that one tooth. 

So I've dropped that idea (kinda) and psycho-ed myself on concentrating on other areas, like taking better care of my skin and hair, making more effort to go to the gym and so on. 

I've also been really self-conscious about my weight as well, imagine being skinny for the longest time and then suddenly you're not so skinny anymore, your jaw line is no longer as obvious, your abs are gone, your arms are getting flabby, your thigh gap is non-existent. It's not as serious to others la of course, but imagine the emotional changes you have to go through looking at the transition. Recently in the past year or so I've come to terms with it, but I've decided to try to get my weight back down, at least to 45kg. I'm hoping that few kg will not be that hard to shed la. 

I do still get mood swings, going between really contented and happy, to insecure and sad, but for the most part I'm pretty satisfied about where I'm currently at now with my life. I'm still really kiasu and trying to plan out the rest of my life, but I'm also learning to remind myself to slow down and enjoy what I currently have.

Surprisingly, I'm actually pretty looking forward to starting work. 

I hope year 4 would be a kind year to me and it'll pass by in a flash without too much trouble. 

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